I like to measure my life in increments of seven, almost like I’m living my life through a series of really long weeks that start from the year I was born. 1991 was a Monday, 1992 was Tuesday, 1993 was Wednesday, and so on. Those years take on the characteristics of the days of the week they were named after; Thursday years always saw things going downhill, Sunday years were always slow and calm, you know how it goes. But for the first time in a long time I am here to start again, because 2019 is a Monday year. That means that this year is the beginning of a whole new cycle, a chance to change things.
My life has been defined by my irrational need to please the people around me. All of the major decisions that I have made have always been with someone else’s interests in mind, often at the expense of my own. Every direction that I have been in has been the result of outside forces, or a reaction to someone or something that ignores my own wants and needs. I have given up too much of myself to the world. This year is the year that it stops, this is the year that I start to live life on my own terms, this is the year that I tear down the old and build something new.
In practical terms that means making my own decisions when it comes to my work, my relationships, my beliefs, and my future. So I apologize in advance to those of you who may be shocked by my new and seemingly selfish attitude. My objective is not to cause hurt or anger, but it is to become the person I feel I should be. There is much in my life that needs to be fixed and I owe it to myself to work on that. I am worthy of my life, I am worthy of the struggle to change, and I am worthy of happiness.