There Is Such A Place
A brief editorial note: It’s been a long time but I think I’m ready to come back to blogging (I haven’t chosen a name yet, we’ll see how we go). As those of you from my previous life will know, a blog becomes a space for me during times of crisis and upheaval. Though I promise that right now, things are okay, even when they’re not. I hope you know how much I appreciate that you’re here reading this.
I am in love with Adelaide. When I came here in February, it was only meant to be for a week… now it’s late September. For the first time in my life I chose not to run, I stayed here so I could fix things, so I could build something better for myself. In many ways I feel like I have achieved that. The child I left behind 20 years ago is not alone or lost any more. I’m finally at peace with that and all of the other complicated events and circumstances that brought me here. I know who I am now.
That’s what makes it so hard to admit that I have been thinking about moving on. I don’t know where, or when, or even why, but I think this particular stage of my journey is coming to a close. This time it’s not about running from something and it’s not about some ADHD fuelled impulse for change. This city, its people, and the circumstances I found myself in here, have all made me a better person. But the work we put into ourselves is ongoing, it’s not meant to end, and there is something still waiting for me out there. That search and desire to grow is what led me here and now it’s leading me in a direction I don’t yet understand. I have to follow it, no matter where it leads me.
Adelaide has given me something no other place has, it made me feel at home. I know now that wherever I go, whoever I meet, and whatever happens next, I will always have a place that I can come back to. This is my city now, I was born and reborn here. It’s a part of me that I choose to keep. A very long time ago I wrote “there is no such place” and I’ve been repeating that same line to myself in the years since. It turns out I was wrong, there is such a place.